No Change

It's funny, because I don't really have much of an update, but at the same time I feel guilty for not writing anything new.  Beginning in January, I promised that I would post at least once a week, and I thought it was going to be hard.  Instead, I've found that it has been incredibly good for me.  Having an outlet for all of my feelings, and knowing that someone is probably out there who understands helps me make it through the rough days.  Knowing that maybe my struggles will help someone else helps too.

Also, I signed up for International Comment Leaving Week (IComLeavWe or ICLW) and I feel like I need to do some sort of an introduction, so I guess that these needs coincide.  

Our Current News:  

• We're still waiting.  
• We're still not sure exactly what/how were going to tell Jakobe's parents about our infertility.  I just know that hearing "You know, if you and Jakobe decide never to have children, we'll love you anyway." again is going to result in me saying something I will regret, and/or making a scene.
• I double checked with our benefits person yesterday and verified that none of our 8 options for health insurance plans have *any* infertility coverage at all.  
• My head nearly exploded earlier this week when two of the people who were supposed to be in the office while we were at the urologist appointment decided to take that day off, meaning that we have almost no coverage if something goes wrong.  As bad as I feel about leaving one person to manage everything the morning of the 30th, I put my request in first, and if my two bosses think it's okay to take the day off and leave the office almost empty for half the day, then that's their call, not mine.  My personal life has to come before work sometimes.

And a welcome to ICLW visitors:

{Stepping up to the podium}

Thank you for stopping by.  I'm Jenni, and my husband and I are infertile.  I have endometriosis, which may or may not be impairing our ability to reproduce because my husband has crappy sperm so we've never really tested it.  I have always wanted children, in fact my initial plan was to get married at 19, and have 4 kids by about age 27.  That unrealistic plan was completely blown out of the water by that fact that I didn't even meet my husband until I was 27, and got married at 29.  

We spent most of the first year TTC hoping that we'd have good luck and assuming it was my fault that we weren't successful.  I had most of the testing right as we started, so the next step was a repeat laparoscopy for me.  I thought we should make sure that we had taken care of any possible issues on his side before I had surgery, and to our shock all of the news on his side was bad.  

Now I don't get a laparoscopy right away, which you might think of as a good thing, but I'm one of the lucky ones for whom endometriosis is not a silent problem, instead it's more of a screaming, tearing, ball of pain in my abdomen for a couple of days a month, and a gnawing, dull pain the rest of the time.

We're waiting to go see a urologist, and find out if there's a possibility that his crap sperm is caused by retrograde ejaculation (a complication of diabetes) or possibly some sort of ejaculatory duct obstruction, or even something we haven't thought of yet.  If so, maybe there's something we can do.  If not, we feel like we're most likely looking at IVF.

{stepping away, and finding my seat}