24 April 2010

And then for the real thing

It was definitely just spotting the other day.  Maintenance is here in force.  Endo Sucks!  And right now I'm not exactly sure what I can do about it.  It seems like it's getting worse every month again.  Even given how much I complained about the Yaz by the end of the time I was on it  - It gave me bad PMS, and I was having acne problems - I was doing pretty well on it.

Once you get away from pain, it's easy to forget exactly how bad things were, and while I was on the pill, I forgot, or at least it became less distinct.    Right now I'm wishing for something I can do to not have to deal with this, but at the same time, still be able to move ahead with whatever plan we have for getting knocked up, as soon as we have a plan.  I don't want to go back on the pill, just to find out that we have a chance if we do IUIs, and have to wait longer, besides, it take s a while for things to fget better with the pill, at nothing takes away my everyday pain, just the all out suckfest that is maintenance.

Plus there are things that I'm afraid of - like Lupron.  That was a miserable experience last time.  I understand that I get to take it again, if we go the IVF route, but it's not the same thing as when you take it for Endo.  Menopause sucks, and doing it 3 times would not be my cup of tea.  And I still want to put a lap as close to actually TTC again as possible, just for that lettle bit of extra fertility juice it sometimes provides.

So, we wait, and do nothing.  I wouldn't worry about this too much - it could be the vicodin talking.

The work thing from the other day seems to be all worked out.  I need to remember to keep an eye on my absence statement - when it comes - and I'll dispute the time if it shows up, but It sounds like the bosses have it all worked out.  I can use makeup time, for an hour or two at a time - but not much more.  I think that means that I get to show up for about 45 minutes next Friday, and then go to the urology appointment, and then go back to work.  It's a pain, but whatever I have to do is what I'll do.

AND - I need to remember to talk about something good.  I worry that sometimes this blog gets all the yucky feelings from my life, and no one gets to hear about the good things:.

Jakobe and I have been out riding our bikes on the weekends, and it has been great.  I love to ride, and I think he's enjoying it too.  Last night I was thinking that I would go for a ride soon that just keeps going as long as I can, until I'm just wrung out.  I feel like it would be good to try and push myself to the edge.  I haven't figured out how to do it yet, and still be able to get home, but I'm working on it.

And, the weather this weekend is absollutely gorgeous, we've been cooking and eating outside, and I might even dicide to do some yard work - making the back patio someplace I actually want to hang out.  Might even make it a place worth having patio furniture (what an Idea!)

Okay - enough typing, better go live my day.


  1. I feel the same way about my blog some days...that it's all down-in-the-muck-pity-party day after day. I have the same goal of trying to perk it up. Glad you are having a good day!

  2. Not sure if this is a guy thing.. but did you ever read Choose Your Own Adventure stories as a kid? It was a series of adventure stories that would present choices to the reader. Things like "If you open the door.. go to page 16; if not go to page 36". Sometimes it feels like IF is like that, too many choices and not enough information behind them to help you decide.

    I haven't ridden a bike in years but your story made me smile and look at the bike in the garage and wonder what I need to tune up to get it working again.

  3. Hi Jenni I'm glad I found you through ICLW, I love the layout of your blog! Really unusual and nice!

    I am so sorry about the end, it definitely sucks no end. I was also diagnosed with endo before starting IVF and somehow when I had to have a lap again (I suffered 2 ectopic pregnancies after 2 IVF cycles...) the endo was gone. I wish you all the best and I'l be checking on you, I'm your latest follower!


    ICLW #71

  4. I am a fellow endo sufferer, and yes it sucks. I am hoping with you, that somehow, someway your dream of a child comes true.

    Here from ICLW (my maiden voyage!)


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