Mind Tricks

First off – It’s completely unfair to have IPS on a cycle when you’re pretty damn sure that you chances of getting pregnant are pretty much nil.  I’ve got to pee constantly, and my breasts are sore.  But – I’ve had these symptoms before, and so I don’t think I’m pregnant.  There’s just a tiny part of me that wants to hope.  The rest of me knows better.  So here I am.  Not hoping, and wishing that this cycle would finish, and time would pass quickly so that we can get in to see the RE, and develop a plan.

Besides - the only thing we're doing differently right now is that Jakobe is no longer taking his Lisinopril.  Admittedly, it's a change, but I don't know how much effect it would have on his swimmers in this short a period of time.  Other than being bothered by the completely irrational, pointless symptoms that probably just mean that I had a good ovulation this month, there's very little going on when it comes to our attempts to have a child of our own.  We wait.

You think we'd be good at waiting, we're certainly getting enough practice, but somehow, it only gets marginally easier.  and - it gives me plenty of time to worry about money.  June is going to be expensive.  we can wave goodbye to approximately $500 for the first RE visit, Plus the cost of summer School for me (~ $750), and a new cell phone for me (~ $200). in any case, it's going to be very hard to maintain our savings - it's going to take a bit of a hit.  I'm sure that it'll start growing again,  but I feel like every time we have to touch it, it puts our possibility of successfully having a child that much further into the future.

Okay - enough rambling, I'll be posing about Rhubarb-Blueberry pie tomorrow.  It makes excellent breakfast.