22 May 2010

Mind Tricks

First off – It’s completely unfair to have IPS on a cycle when you’re pretty damn sure that you chances of getting pregnant are pretty much nil.  I’ve got to pee constantly, and my breasts are sore.  But – I’ve had these symptoms before, and so I don’t think I’m pregnant.  There’s just a tiny part of me that wants to hope.  The rest of me knows better.  So here I am.  Not hoping, and wishing that this cycle would finish, and time would pass quickly so that we can get in to see the RE, and develop a plan.

Besides - the only thing we're doing differently right now is that Jakobe is no longer taking his Lisinopril.  Admittedly, it's a change, but I don't know how much effect it would have on his swimmers in this short a period of time.  Other than being bothered by the completely irrational, pointless symptoms that probably just mean that I had a good ovulation this month, there's very little going on when it comes to our attempts to have a child of our own.  We wait.

You think we'd be good at waiting, we're certainly getting enough practice, but somehow, it only gets marginally easier.  and - it gives me plenty of time to worry about money.  June is going to be expensive.  we can wave goodbye to approximately $500 for the first RE visit, Plus the cost of summer School for me (~ $750), and a new cell phone for me (~ $200). in any case, it's going to be very hard to maintain our savings - it's going to take a bit of a hit.  I'm sure that it'll start growing again,  but I feel like every time we have to touch it, it puts our possibility of successfully having a child that much further into the future.

Okay - enough rambling, I'll be posing about Rhubarb-Blueberry pie tomorrow.  It makes excellent breakfast.


  1. Savings??? I've heard of that....I know it's hard, but despite the pain in the ass that money is, it's necesary, and we only live once. And we do what we have to do. My June will be equally financially burdensome. Hope you get a plan going here for you guys!

  2. OMG you read my mind. 2 days ago I was SOO nauseated (I think from the heat, our A/C is broken) and I wailed to my husband, "I wish I didn't know that I didn't ovulate this month, then at least I could hope this is morning sickness!".


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