Doing too Much?

Jakobe was telling me last night as we were lying in bed that he thinks I should maybe take the summer off school, that I’m doing too much and that it’s not very healthy for me.  (Not his exact words, but his sentiment).  He wants me to have time to goof off, and do the things that I like, go for bike rides after work, make some changes at the house, read a book (or a dozen), and just take things slower.  I can’t say that I disagree with him, it would be a good idea.  I actually keep thinking about it myself.  It would be easier.  I don’t want to do summer school this year.  I am getting tired of it – I’m in my 7^th straight quarter already.  That and I’m just tired, more emotionally tired than anything, but it’s all tied together.

But – I didn’t go back to school with the idea that it was going to be easy, and I know myself well enough to realize that if I take the summer off, I’ll probably fill my time with other commitments that I’ll then try to continue when school starts again in the Fall.  Added to that – I really, really want next year to be the last year.  I’m supposed to be able to graduate next June, but that only works if I either take one class this summer, or if I go full-time one quarter next year.  I think that the full-time quarter will hurt me more than one summer class.

It doesn’t look like I’m going to have to worry about how to juggle pregnancy and/or motherhood while finishing up the last year of school (I might have given myself an extension to the deadline if that happened. )  I will probably have to continue to juggle infertility, periodic depression, and possible fertility treatments, whilst saving all the money we can for an IVF attempt and going to school.  I can do it.  When I went back to school I gave up two things I really enjoyed because I couldn’t manage my time well enough to make all of my commitments work: Triathlons and 4-H.  

I want it to be worth it.

I want to finish what I started.

I need to finish what I started. 

By June of next year I probably won’t be a mom, but I will be the proud owner of a degree in Management Information Systems, and a boatload of debt.  If I stop before then, I just get the debt – and not the pretty piece of paper.