I owe everyone an update, and an apology for being so quiet here for the last week. My excuse - it's been a busy couple of days, and we weren't hanging around the house much.
So apparently the end result of seeing an RE for our fertility problems is that both maintenance, and ovulation have run for the hills. Yep - that's right, I'm not having my period, but I'm not ovulating either. My body has decided to hang out in limbo with my brain and emotions...
It's CD37 - I told Jakobe last night that maintenance was late, and he suggested that I take a HPT this morning because the irony would be just about perfect. Then I told him I didn't think I'd ovulated yet. He's chalking it up to stress. Instead of going the HPT route, I decided to just take my temp this morning (I stopped temping after the visit to the RE - really, what's the point. Well, okay, I was going to, because I like to know when to expect mainenance, but I guess I still can.) and I came in at a whopping 96.96, so I figure that a HPT would have been a wast of time.
It's nice to think that a miracle could have occurred, but they just don't happen to us. Nope - the gods rain shit on us. (The gods rain shit on other people too - if you're sitting in this shit-storm with us, I'm sorry, I still can't find an umbrella. Maybe it'll stop raining soon?)
So, now I'm here, sharing. We're still seeing the counselor, but it doesn't feel like we're going anywhere. We've spent a whole lot of time talking about non-IF stuff. Not that it isn't good to talk about, just that it feels like we went there for a reason, and there's all of these things and excuses that are keeping us from actually talking about that. Jakobe managed to write in his blog (it's at the end of the post) what he was able to say in the counselors office two weeks ago, and other than that, nothing has changed. I'm sure that we're making incremental progress toward some kind of resolution, but it doesn't really feel that way.
I've gone back to saying "if we have kids someday, then..."
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DH and I went to a counselor ONCE and decided it wasn't for us. After this cycle we may try again. And isn't it fun when your cycle goes wonky and you just have to permanently keep products on standby and never wear white????
ReplyDeleteI think it is so cool that Jakobe is writing his own blog. Sometimes I wish that my dh would join the club too. Sometimes when I am reading blogs he sits with me and kindof watches tv but maybe also kind of reads along.
ReplyDeleteIf I can offer some unsolicited advice, I would encourage you to start looking for a different counselor. It took me a while to find the right person, but it really made A WORLD of difference. One session with the right therapist accomplished more than a years worth of weekly meetings with the not-right therapist.
We started seeing a therapist weekly after the azoos diagnosis. after the negative FNA results, I knew I needed to find someone else. I had to go out on my own to try different counselors and then finally when I found the right one I brought my dh with me. We quit seeing the first one and now I see this therapist alone every month or so and bring ML as necessary. It is SO SO SO much better, and I feel like we are finally dealing with some of the actual 'issues'.
I too hoped for a miracle this last cycle and actually broke down a poas. no surprise that it was negative. Did you read that Circus Princess just got a miracle positive! miracles do happen...
I'm sorry your body has gone on strike. I hope that the shit storm comes to an end soon and you can figure something out.
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