04 March 2010


So, after my last post, things got a lot better.  How?

When I got home from school, I was in one heck of the mood - I was actually crying when I left class on Tuesday night.  (not really like me, but hey - I'm on thin emotional ice right now).  I tried to call Jakobe - and he was too busy playing video games to answer/hear the phone.  I was upset, and pissed, and unreasonable.  Like major PMS, but without the hormones.

What did I do about it?  The stupid thing.  I slammed around, and made myself a large martini which I drank in two swallows, and then I let him hug me, and started crying again.  Smooth, huh?

We had words - and I admitted that I'm holding myself together by the skin of my teeth, and that I didn't think I could keep it up. He held me, and we talked of a minute or two.  I felt a bit better, but was mostly just to tired to deal with it anymore.

He went off to the back of the house.  I took my vitamins, medications, and supplements (quite a handful - mostly supplements), had a nice shot of applejack, and decided to go to bed.

I've typed all this and realized that it doesn't really look like things got any better.

At this point, I was just a touch drunk, and perfectly okay with it.

This is the point where Jakobe decides to surprise me with an unexpected bout of make-up sex.  It sounds terrible, but it was exactly what I needed.  Afterward, I felt much more connected and loved, and more like we were on the same page.  It helped me to feel like we weren't giving up, and like this whole thing wasn't going to get the best of us.

Sometimes I wonder if we could solve all the worlds problems with the afterglow of really great sex...  And - if everyone else were just like us, there would be no nasty population explosion to deal with as a consequence.

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